Friday, November 17, 2006

She was a young woman, barely 26. Her daughter was just turning 5. She had a husband in the Navy. He was away from home a lot as is the way of the Sailors and Soldiers serving their country. She did not have many friends as they had just moved into their tiny apartment and did not know many from the area. This made the upcoming separation from her husband even scarier. She did not like being alone.

Shortly after moving in she noticed a young man delivering newspapers in the area. He was slight, perhaps 12 years old and always had a big smile on his face, no matter how big and heavy his bag of papers. One day she stepped outside to asked him if he would deliver the newspaper to her house and of course he said yes. She asked him his name and if he lived in the neighborhood. He told her his name was Lincoln, but everyone called him Linc and he lived just down the hill.

Linc began delivering the papers and each day the woman would greet him and ask him how he was doing. And each day his response would be the same.

"I am doing fine Ma'am, how are you today?", he would ask. One day she asked him if he had time to eat breakfast before he started delivering his papers and he said no that he would usually wait and eat after he was done. The woman told him her daughter was having her breakfast and he was welcome to come in and join her. He smiled and cheerfully accepted.

He was always very polite and it was obvious to her that his parents were teaching him many admirable traits that would serve him well in life. He was hard working, always polite and respectful and was never without a smile. She asked him about his mother and father and he responded by saying he did not have a father. He lived alone with his mother. She became curious what happened to his father and questioned him. The boy said he never knew his father, he had died at a young age when he was just a baby. His mom never remarried and did not have a boyfriend. She worked at two jobs to make ends meet and most of the time he was home alone. His paper route money helped her to buy his school clothes and gave him a little money for personal use. The woman began to think she was prying to much and ended the questioning and the boy made his way out to complete his paper route, but not before putting his dish in the sink and thanking her for the breakfast.

It seemed that time passed so quickly and before long it was time for the woman's husband to deploy. He packed up his seabag and left for places unknown, at least that was all she was allowed to know. She was so sad that night, she missed him so much and he was going to be gone for 4 long months. No friends, no husband, she cried herself to sleep that night. Military life is not easy for anyone, but it can be very hard for the spouses left behind especially with no friends.

The next morning Linc showed up as he always did and she was happy to see his bright smiling face. She invited him in and he could sense she was not herself today. He asked her if she was ok and she told him of her husband's deployment and that she was just a little sad about it but she would be alright. She had no friends and just needed to get acquainted with some neighbors. He ate some cereal and as he was leaving he smiled a big smile and said to her that his mom did not have many friends either and maybe they could be friends. The woman smiled at him and said that his mother was probably way to busy and she did not want to bother her. He told her that his mother was sad just like she is and he thinks she could really use a friend too. It would be perfect he said to her.

Linc left and continued his route and the woman did not give it much thought. Later in the early evening there was a knock at her door. Linc hollered to her that it was him so she opened the door and there stood Linc with his mother. She was also a slightly built woman with a nice smile and a pretty face. Linc introduced the two women and Linc and his mom came into the house. The two women sat down at the table and got acquainted as Linc went into the living room and played with the little girl.

On that night, these two women from different backgrounds, sharing a common bond began a friendship that would sustain them both for many years to come. Both of them missed their husbands, one would return and one would not. They talked for 4 hours that first night and when the night ended they hugged and Linc and his mother walked home. The young woman still missed her husband very much but she did not cry on this night intead she smiled and thanked God for her new friend. Two days later Linc asked the woman if she and her daughter would come down to his house for dinner that night. She gladly accepted.

The apartment was small, but very much like her own. It was very tidy and tastefully decorated. She noticed a list hanging on the refrigerator and asked her new friend what it was for. Linc's mother told her that was Linc's chore list. It had to be done before he could go out and play during the day. And every box had a check mark in it indicating he had done his chores. The woman began to understand what made Linc who and what he was. He had a loving, caring parent that wanted him to succeed in life and was preparing him for manhood. She looked at her friend and smiled, neither said a word, they both just knew why they were going to be best friends.

Time passed and they stayed in close contact, but it was now time for the woman's husband to return home. When he arrived she told him all about her new friend and how happy she was to have her. She had an idea though, and she asked her husband what he thought. She wanted to have her friend meet one of his friends from the ship. Maybe a double date to help them get acquainted. He said he was not in the matchmaking business but he could recommend a couple of very nice guys she might enjoy spending time with.

And so it came to be that Linc's mom met a few of the woman's husband's friends and decided that one in particular intrigued her. They began dating and slowly developed a romance that culminated in marriage. It was a happy day for both of these women as they shared so much with each other.

As is always the case with military families the time came for the young woman and her husband to leave and go to another duty assignment. The two women spent one last night together talking into the early hours of the morning. They laughed, they cried and they laughed some more. They hugged one last hug and said goodbye.

That was almost 25 years ago and they have stayed in touch although not as frequently as in the beginning but their friendship will last forever. They know each other better than their husband's know them and they will be sisters until the end. Linc is a grown man now with a family of his own and he sends cards and pictures of his wife and kids to this woman and her family. Indeed he was well prepared for his life as a husband and a father.

There is precious little in this world as important as a true and dear friend. Call or write your best friend tonight and tell them you love them and that life without them would never be the same. Do it while there is still an opportunity to do it. Do not let life keep you apart. The heart you save may be your own and just maybe your friend's as well.

See you later friends! I love you! God Bless.

Thursday, November 16, 2006

This is an inspirational story I wanted to share with you about some friends of mine. It is written in first person to make it easier to write and read.

Several years ago I was working for a large insurance and investments company in Hartford, CT. I was a member of a small team that administered and maintained the software for state employees 401a and 403b retirement accounts. The job was very enjoyable for me and I liked the team members a great deal. We were a tight group and hung out together even when not working. During the summer months one of my friends and I would always go for a walk around the grounds at lunch time. Seems there were more people outside during lunch than inside. There were about 5000 employees in this one building and the grounds were very well kept so enjoying the walk seemed what everyone did.

One day as my friend and I walked along we happened upon a rather indigent young man. Could have used a shave, most certainly needed a bath and some clean clothes. He asked us if we could spare some change and I had no cash on me after lunch. My friend reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful of coins and extracted a nickel and handed it to the young man. He then made a crude remark to him. I will not repeat it here. The young man took the nickel and put it in his pocket and thanked him and continued on his way.

We also continued to walk and he made a couple more crude remarks and acted as though he were proud of his behavior. I asked him why he felt it necessary to humiliate that kid anymore than he probably already was. He said, "That kid is a loser and will panhandle money up and down the street rather than get a job and I enjoy making him feel embarrassed for what he is doing." We went back to work.

I thought about what had happened for the next week as we walked, but we never saw the young man again. I made sure I always had some money so that if we did see him I could give it to him. One day I walked alone as my friend was off work for personal reasons and I did come across the young man again. He actually recognized me it seemed but passed by me without saying a word. I stopped and turned to him and asked him if he needed anything. He said, "I can always use some change if you have some to spare." I reached into my pocket and handed him a twenty dollar bill. He looked at it and then at me and said, "I cannot take this from you, it is far to much money for you to give me." "Do you need it?", I asked him. Of course he said yes, and started to say something else and I stopped him. I told him, "There is no need to explain any further, if you need it, then use it, if you do not need it then give it to someone who does because it is yours now." He folded the bill and put it in his pocket.

He thanked me about 30 times almost to the point I was getting uncomfortable. I asked him if he remembered me and he indicated he did and he also remembered my friend. I told him I was sorry that my friend had treated him that way. He said not to worry, it was nothing new for him. We made small talk for a few minutes. The young man had a wife and a baby at home and he had not worked in over 9 months. He had no real skills and took odd jobs whenever he could get them. When I saw him that day he was on his way to the manpower office to see about a job. As he walked off I asked him if he would do me a favor. He agreed and I said, "Meet me here tomorrow at about this time if you can." He said he would try his best to be here.

The next day I walked without my friend and sure enough, James met me. I asked him if he had time to walk a ways with me and he said sure. We chatted about nothing in particular until I said to him that I wanted to give him something and it would be without conditions. But I would request a favor which he was not obligated to accept, it was up to him. I gave him a one hundred dollar bill, again he did not want to take it, but I insisted. Before putting it in his pocket he looked at me almost suspiciously and asked me just what the favor would be. "James", I said, "I want you to stop on your way home and buy a razor, then I want you to take your clothes to the laundrymat and then buy food and necessities for your wife and child with the rest." Then tomorrow I want to see you shaven, bathed and with clean clothes ready to find a job." He agreed to do that.

I did not see James the next day, nor the next, in fact I did not see him for two weeks. I was a little disappointed but at the same time I told him my request was not a condition, he was free to choose what he wanted to do, so I decided not to give it another thought. Two weeks later I ran into James and I almost did not recognize him. He was clean shaven, had a nice dress shirt and a tie as well, shined shoes, nice clean pants and he even got a hair cut. He told me he had followed my advice and when he went to manpower the next morning they sent him to a job at a local office supply store just down the street from where I worked. He got the job and loved every minute of it, especially the steady paycheck. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a twenty dollar bill and handed it to me. I told him he really did not have to do that. His exact words were, "I know and that is why I want to." I took the money from him and he went on his way back to work. Over the course of the next year James paid me back the $100 as well.

James and I saw each other almost every day as we walked at lunch time. We would chat and became very good friends considering the difference in our ages. He was a very nice young man and I even met his wife and baby. I have not seen James in several years now, but I just know he is doing fine. I pray he is.