Change

(or one man's loss is another man's gain)

Changes come to each of our lives. Sometimes we welcome them, sometimes we fight them. In either case most often the changes are outside our control so the latter approach will almost always make the situation worse.

Changes in our personal habits certainly fall into the category of those which are in our control. Maybe we need to be more attentive to other aspects of our lives instead of zeroing in on one particular thing. Perhaps we need to make changes for health reasons, exercise, smoking and/or drinking cessation or even spiritual changes. These changes no matter how personal to you, will almost always have an impact on those around you.

Change is difficult especially for a creature of habit. I sure do fall into that category. I am as habitual as one can get. I take comfort in my routines. Perhaps there is always a fear of failure when faced with the need or desire for change. When I say desire, I mean the changes that impact you and are made by others. Because change is circular changing one's self surely effects change in someone else. That is sometimes the hardest to accept. Maybe it feels like rejection if the change is not agreeable to you, or maybe it seems like more than has been portrayed has changed or even perhaps it feels like the cause for the change is your fault. None or all may be true. It is what makes change so hard. Sometimes the actions of change speak differently to us than the words of change. May only be a perception issue, but nonetheless it seems very real.

When all is said and done all that is really left is trust. Trust that the change is as it has been portrayed. Trust that those around you are not shutting you out if the change involves spending less time with you, but simply a desire on their part to expand, perhaps to include others in their lives or to spend more time at enjoyable activities which may not include you.

I know that in my life I have probably made changes that hurt others even if that was not the intent and of course the opposite is true. But in each case the changes were still made because it was what I wanted or the other person wanted. If we do not pursue that which makes us happy then there seems little point in life. God brings us friends to make us happy and sometimes they are forever and sometimes they are just short stops along our way. How do we know which is which? For me it is what is in my heart. What do I feel for that person above and beyond just incidental or situational friendship? Even forever friends will sometimes part ways and although they may not maintain constant contact they will always call each other friend. And when they meet again it is as though they had seen each other the day before.

I have such friends. And I believe I will have more before my time is up. I can only imagine I have friends right now that will say and will do the same.

I detest change. Guess that is something I need to change.

I apologize for not continuing the story I started but I will get back to it eventually. I have taken time off...again...from my writing and this piece just came to mind for this update. It is short but means a lot to me so I hope you enjoy it.


The first time I held her in my arms I knew I would love her for all my days. Gazing into those beautiful blue eyes was just this side of heaven. Her blonde hair was so soft and her smooth sweet smelling skin was even softer to the touch. Such a beautiful creature she was. A perfect creation made just for me. When God brought her to me He knew I would never hurt her, always cherish her and make her life as comfortable as was within my means to do. I love her more today than I did yesterday but less than I will tomorrow. And so it goes for all time.

She knew early on that all she had to do was look me in the eyes, wrap her arms around my neck and whisper in my ear just what she wanted and it would be hers. Some might say she took advantage of me, but she never asked for more than she knew I could give her. She understood she could not have everything, but she also knew she could have far more than she had ever dreamed simply by asking for it.

We were both young and we grew up together. Many times we walked through the park, hand in hand, sometimes talking and sometimes silent. Words were never all that important, we just liked being together. She had a natural curiosity for nature as did I and we explored the wooded areas near our home. We both loved camping out and spent many a night lying on a blanket watching the stars. We had our whole lives ahead of us. Nothing could stop us.

Time has intervened as it always does. Her blonde hair is not so blonde anymore, but those eyes can still melt me in my tracks. She is still beautiful and we still enjoy a walk together even in silence.

By now you are probably wondering if I took this woman as my wife, but the answer is no. I was already married when I met her. Her mother is my wife.