Change

(or one man's loss is another man's gain)

Changes come to each of our lives. Sometimes we welcome them, sometimes we fight them. In either case most often the changes are outside our control so the latter approach will almost always make the situation worse.

Changes in our personal habits certainly fall into the category of those which are in our control. Maybe we need to be more attentive to other aspects of our lives instead of zeroing in on one particular thing. Perhaps we need to make changes for health reasons, exercise, smoking and/or drinking cessation or even spiritual changes. These changes no matter how personal to you, will almost always have an impact on those around you.

Change is difficult especially for a creature of habit. I sure do fall into that category. I am as habitual as one can get. I take comfort in my routines. Perhaps there is always a fear of failure when faced with the need or desire for change. When I say desire, I mean the changes that impact you and are made by others. Because change is circular changing one's self surely effects change in someone else. That is sometimes the hardest to accept. Maybe it feels like rejection if the change is not agreeable to you, or maybe it seems like more than has been portrayed has changed or even perhaps it feels like the cause for the change is your fault. None or all may be true. It is what makes change so hard. Sometimes the actions of change speak differently to us than the words of change. May only be a perception issue, but nonetheless it seems very real.

When all is said and done all that is really left is trust. Trust that the change is as it has been portrayed. Trust that those around you are not shutting you out if the change involves spending less time with you, but simply a desire on their part to expand, perhaps to include others in their lives or to spend more time at enjoyable activities which may not include you.

I know that in my life I have probably made changes that hurt others even if that was not the intent and of course the opposite is true. But in each case the changes were still made because it was what I wanted or the other person wanted. If we do not pursue that which makes us happy then there seems little point in life. God brings us friends to make us happy and sometimes they are forever and sometimes they are just short stops along our way. How do we know which is which? For me it is what is in my heart. What do I feel for that person above and beyond just incidental or situational friendship? Even forever friends will sometimes part ways and although they may not maintain constant contact they will always call each other friend. And when they meet again it is as though they had seen each other the day before.

I have such friends. And I believe I will have more before my time is up. I can only imagine I have friends right now that will say and will do the same.

I detest change. Guess that is something I need to change.