I talked to God today. I have talked to him on a daily basis now for several weeks. I used to talk to him many years ago but I always thought he wasn't listening. I would ask for this and I would ask for that, but I never got those things I asked for. I kept waiting for some resounding words to fill my head. Just something to let me know he was there. I never heard any words.

It was not long ago that I finally decided I would try again. Only this time I asked only for understanding. Once I figured out the mind was not God's point of entry and opened my heart to him, it was then that I knew Him. I knew he was there, is here. He is listening. He helped me understand something that was weighing very heavy on my heart. Most all of us want to live forever and of course we want our loved ones to enjoy that same immortality. We know that is not going to happen. It can be so devastating to lose a loved one, but equally hard is the thought of losing a dear friend. I have such friends. I have contemplated how I will handle losing them some day because I know I will lose some of them before I myself go. And go I will. God helped me to understand why I need not worry about his children when they go. As for my own grief it will be mixed with happiness because I will know they are with Him and waiting for me to come home. And the reunion will be divine.

I have been told that I am wrong, about God that is. Some have even accused me of being insane because I believe in Him. I like to think of it as being crazy. Crazy about God. He is my savior and I will never deny Him again. Life is precious to me but it pales in comparison to my salvation.

My sins are forgiven. Yes they still happened, but they only have meaning when judging me as a man of this world. He has forgiven me and I now live my life, not in perfection, but striving each day to shed my past and live as God wants me to live. I never thought I could do this. I did not think myself worthy. God knew I was struggling and he sent his messenger to guide me, just that little nudge that I needed to make the effort one more time. I made it this time. I will forever carry that messenger in my heart. Without this person I might never have tried and I know God knew that when he put us together.

Life is good but the best is yet to come.

Have you talked to God today?