I have a pet peeve. I have a lot of them actually, but that probably says more about me than the things that peeve me. I suppose the phrase pet peeve trivializes this issue but I am so at a loss for words regarding this problem I do not know what to call it. I know that fighting violence with violence is not the answer, but sometimes I just feel like it should be. Domestic violence is not gender specific, but I want to address the men here since the bulk of this is carried out by them.

Do you hit your wife? Does your wife bear the scars of living a life with you? Do you not love this person? Look at your wife. Are you proud of the blackened swollen eyes, the crooked nose that is the result of the several times you broke it? Surely you are not.

I want to challenge you. Next time you feel the urge to strike her, stop, stop dead in your tracks. Look into her eyes and see the pain and suffering you have caused. Can't see it? Look again because I assure it is there, the rest of us can see it. Slowly and gently raise your hand and softly touch her cheek. Tell her how very sorry you are for what you have done to her, to your marriage. Promise her you will never raise your hand to her in anger again. If you are lucky this woman still loves you and wants nothing more than for you to change and love her the way she wants and needs to be loved. Does this not seem easy to you? From this day forward when you feel that desire to hit her stop and remember you promised her you wouldn't. Be a man. Honor her, cherish her, love her and even spoil her a little bit. And keep your promise!

The statistics(1) for the incidence of domestic violence are staggering. If you are beating your partner I urge you to accept this challenge and I also urge you to seek professional help. If you do not get to the root cause of your behavior this challenge will not solve the problem long term. I am not a trained professional but it does not take an educated person to see how damaging this behavior is to women and also to children. For every son that says he will never treat a woman the way his father treated his mother, there will be at least one that will. And for every daughter that says she will never allow a man to treat her the way her father treated her mother, there will be at least one that will. It must stop right here and now and it must be you that stops it.

(1) http://www.endabuse.org/resources/facts/